Telling your child’s story once
How to write a short summary of your child, their history and what helps, so each new GP, specialist, therapist or teacher starts from the same page and you don’t have to begin again every time.
Every new person in your child’s life asks the same questions. When did you first notice? What have you tried? Who else is involved? Any medicines, any allergies? What helps? Parents answer them at the GP, at the paediatrician, at the first therapy session and at the new school, often with their child listening and often while trying to remember dates.
Telling it again and again is tiring, and each telling comes out a little different depending on the day. A short written summary means the story starts in the same place every time, and the appointment can be spent on what is happening now. This is how we have come to put ours together.
Keep it to a page
The aim is something a busy person can read in 2 minutes, before they meet your child. A page, a page and a half at most. Headings and short lines are easier to take in than long paragraphs. The detail lives in the reports; the summary points to them. A page that gets read does more than a folder that doesn’t.
What to put on it
About your child Their name and the name they like to be called, their age, who they live with and the languages spoken at home. A line or 2 on who they are: what they love, what they are good at, what makes them laugh.
What is going on In plain words, what you and others have noticed and what you are trying to understand or support. If your child has a diagnosis, name it and say who gave it and when. If you are still waiting for answers, say that, and say what is being looked into.
The people involved The GP, paediatrician, therapists and the contact at school or early learning, with a phone number or email and a few words on what each one does.
Medicines and allergies Names and doses, and when they last changed. Copy them from the label or the latest letter rather than from memory.
What helps, and what makes things harder The practical things: how they like to be spoken to, what to do if they become upset, sounds or places that are hard for them, how they show pain or worry. This is often the part a new person most needs, and the part least likely to be in any letter.
Key dates A short timeline: when things were first noticed, referrals, assessments and big changes. Just the date and a few words for each.
Reports and letters A list of the main ones, with dates and who wrote them, so people know what exists and can ask to see it.
Write it with your child, if you can
Older children may want a say in how they are described, and a short part in their own words, such as “things I want you to know about me”, can mean a lot to a new adult reading it. For younger children, a photo at the top helps a new person put a face to the page.
Share the parts each person needs
A GP needs the medicines and the history. A new teacher needs what helps in a classroom. A grandparent babysitting needs the bedtime routine. The core stays the same, and you can add or leave out sections for each reader. It is your child’s story, so you decide who reads which parts.
Keep it current
Put the date at the top, so a reader knows how recent it is. Update it when something changes: a new medicine, a new person, a new report. A quick read before each appointment, or at the start of each term, is usually enough to keep it right.
The first version may take an evening, and it may not feel finished. Even a first draft holds more than you could fit into a rushed 15-minute appointment. You know your child better than anyone you will hand it to, and writing it down this carefully is a good thing to have done for them.
If you want to read further
This guide is our experience, with some help from the pages below. None of it is required reading; they are the ones we kept coming back to, mostly official pages, and they will always be more current than we are.
- My Health Passport The Health and Disability Commissioner’s free booklet for writing down how a person wants to be communicated with and supported, in printable and editable versions. Written for the person themselves; parts of it may be useful for a child’s summary.
- Healthcare appointments: tips for interacting with healthcare providers KidsHealth’s practical list for appointments, including keeping a record of your child’s history.
Written and looked after by the Champ team. If something here is out of date, or you know a better way, hello@champ.kiwi.